I Found a Gap in My Own Coaching

This feels like a vulnerable share. And it feels important. So here I go…

I think often about the coaches I admire. I don’t care about their bank accounts or any external signs of success.

That’s not what matters. What matters to me is how they feel living their life. How are they viewing their challenges? How are they growing? How are they using the tools they teach to transform their own life experience?

So when my coach asked me a question recently that felt like a punch in the gut, I knew there was a gap between how I aim to show up as a coach and my reality.

The question, “What part of your life would you not want your clients to see?”

Ack.

The answer came immediately.

And, if I’m honest, more than a little uncomfortable to put in writing.

Because it’s not new.

This is something I’ve been tolerating for years.

A home that always feels less than put together. The little undone things on every floor. The physical clutter. The cleaning I put off…

And hear me loud and clear here… just like life coaches, homes aren’t meant to be “perfect.”

That is not the point. I don’t strive for a home that looks unlived in.

The messy home (and full disclosure - it’s my mess. Not Charlie’s!) is not the piece that felt like a gut chuck. It’s how I feel about it.  

It bugs me. A lot. 

And as a life coach who wants to transform the experience of life I surprised myself when I became aware that I really haven’t given this area of my life my attention. Something always feels more important to focus on.

But that question.

It put a spotlight on the dozen small, unfinished things that I see every single day and choose to ignore.

The stack of clothes that needs hemming or donating. The pile of books without a home. The pvolve workout set sitting in the corner because it didn’t magically turn me into Jennifer Aniston. The dog hair on the stairs.

And when that question landed, I saw why these things bother me so much.

They are not just physical clutter. They are mental clutter. They are a reminder that I am ignoring a part of my life I want to feel different.

It takes energy to ignore the things we actually want to change.

If I had a client that complained to me about house stuff as much as I vent in my own head, you better believe I’d be encouraging them to do something about it! We’d be troubleshooting it every week until we figured it out. 

But for me, I’ve just been ignoring it. Tolerating it. Telling myself I’m too busy.

Until last week.

Since then, I’ve been on fire!

Coaching myself day after day to become the version of me who doesn’t avoid the house stuff. The version of me who doesn’t listen to the voice saying, “do it later” or “it’s only a little bit of Tot hair” even when it bugs me.

I am choosing much more useful thoughts  and purposefully directing my brain to support me in building this new version of myself.

I have sewn pockets back onto shirts. Fixed broken picture frames. Let go of clothes I am never going to wear. And if you want a pvolve set, it’ll be on sale tomorrow!

And with every small task I complete, I can feel my energy rising. I can feel the belief building that I am a person who keeps a tidy home without the mind drama.

I keep reminding myself that I am freeing up mental energy for the next transformation.

Because for me, this is part of what it means to be in integrity as a coach. Solving new problems each year. Not carrying the same ones forward.

So this one is getting put to bed. A nice, tidy bed at that.

I’ve put my coach’s question on the calendar six months from now: “What part of your life would you not want your clients to see?” And when it’s time to answer it, I will have a new answer.

So let me leave you with this:

What is one problem in your life that you are ready to solve for good?

Not manage. Not revisit. Not circle back to next year.

But truly solve.

If one came to mind, I’d love to hear it. Saying it out loud is the first step to solving it for good!

Let’s do this!

Doing the work alongside you,

Missy