The Groundhog Day Problem: Why Waiting for Change Keeps You Stuck
Happy Groundhog Day.
When you think about Groundhog Day, what comes to mind? Punxsutawney Phil? How much winter is left? Or maybe Bill Murray stuck in a time loop?
For me, it’s Bill Murray and the 1993 movie. His character, Phil, lives Groundhog Day on repeat every day. Same town. Same people. Same FM radio banter at 6 am.
The circumstances never change.
But somewhere along the way, he does.
He stops fighting the reality he’s living in and starts shaping how he experiences it. He stops bracing when his old classmate Ned gives his daily pitch for life insurance and instead finds new ways to part ways with Ned sooner and with more humor.
I bet you can relate to that feeling Phil is experiencing as the day repeats. Wanting something to change and feeling a bit stuck on the hamster wheel.
Sometimes it’s a big thing you’re sick of repeating. And often, it’s the smaller moments that are quietly taking a lot of your energy.
The weekly meeting that could have been an email.
The pile of dishes waiting at the end of the day.
It’s not the situation that’s exhausting. It’s how you think and feel about it that you’re truly tired of.
It’s the dread of the meeting and how much time is spent thinking about it.
It’s the mild resentment that you’re spending your time in the sink instead of reading a book or relaxing.
And for the record, all of this is beyond normal.
We’re taught at a young age that once the circumstances change, things will be better. Nod with me if you were ever told, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” It’s been ingrained in us since we were toddlers to wait for things to change.
But what if you don’t have to wait? What if changing how you approach the meeting or the dishes could make the experience itself change? It can.
I once worked with a client who dreaded meetings with her boss, and for good reason based on what she had shared. She was talking about an upcoming meeting and how hard it was going to be. I paused her and asked one simple question: What if it didn’t have to be hard?
The following week, she told me she showed up differently. She wasn’t bracing, she didn’t get pulled into the usual dynamic, and the meeting went better than expected. Nothing about the boss changed. How she approached her did.
This is the brilliant thing about this movie. Of course, Phil wants things to change: He wants a shot at a new day and a date with the girl he loves. But it’s not until he decides to shift how he shows up now, that his future begins to come to life.
My clients understand that, just like Phil, you do not have to wait to feel better. You get to create the feelings you want moment-by-moment in the day you’re already living.
The first step to making now better is simple: Pay attention.
Notice the little hamster wheels of your days. The thought on repeat. The sigh as you pull into work. The side eye at your yoga mat.
The result of everything you do is a combination of not just what you are doing but how you are thinking and feeling about it.
Pay attention to how you’re quietly influencing situations with your energy.
Building this awareness is simple but isn’t always easy.
Here's a quick way to start: Separate the facts from the story you're telling yourself.
Fact: I have a meeting every Wednesday at 8:00 a.m.
Story: Another hour of my life I'll never get back. They don't value my time. This should have been an email.
A rule of thumb: If it has an adjective or an always/never, it's probably your story, not the fact.
Once you can see the difference, you’ve got options. You can question the story, rewrite it, or focus on influencing it.
That’s where real change begins. Not when the circumstances shift, but when you do.
If a part of your life feels a bit like Groundhog Day and you’re ready to stop waiting, Let’s chat!
